Silence

Please forgive my silence over the last few days (it's ok, you know you were checking in every hour, lol). It's been an emotional roller coaster of a week and orders have started flowing in for Mothers Day.

Next week, Tuesday specifically, will be a shared anniversary that I'm dreading. It's the anniversary of my grandfathers passing and my most recent miscarriage. April 19th. It's been hurting me and taking over my mind when it can. I miss them both so much.

I think back to all the things my grandfather has and will miss. More grandchildren, a great grand child, my marriage, my husband, my dating my husband. My moving and starting a career on my own. My husband joining the Army and us starting a very exciting life. So much. Too much. It hurts to say I only have three pictures of him. Turns out, everyone else was taking the pictures and I only got left with memories. Hopefully that will change. I need to see his face more.

I think forward to what life would have been like, right now, this moment, with two children. A nearly 5 month old and a two year old. I certainly wouldn't be awake right now. But then again, I probably wouldn't have my business right now. Life would be completely different. I'd be up at 12am for feedings and bad dreams, not writing blog posts and responding to convos on Etsy. I wouldn't be a contributor to a loss blog. I wouldn't be doing a lot of things, but then again I would. They'd just be so different. Who knows what it'd be like. I can only imagine.

I'm still working on the Build A Nest line. I have 90% done. The last 10% will be done tomorrow! Listings will go up tomorrow night I hope. I still need to change to plated for all the others. Sigh. So much.

Until later today, good morning and I hope you all are sleeping well.