Avery and Casey

A member of the online group at I'm in posted this article. Now, I'll start by saying I have no definition of faith. I was born into a Catholic family, baptized, went through communion and then visited various other churches and stayed in a Mormon church for several years. I was also baptized Mormon. At some point, not one that can be definied, I stopped believing what I was told to believe, but rather followed my heart. I will not say I do or do not believe in God. I will not say for sure there is or is not a heaven, hell, ghosts, or any other non-physical entities. But I do believe my heart. And my heart told me my babies need names.

After I gave birth to Noah, I have been terrified of pregnancy. Due to my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and family history of Endometriosis, it's really never certain if I can carry a child to term. But I have my Noah. I also have two angel babies. On Christmas Eve of 2009, I lost my first angel, now named Avery. I carried my little one for 9 and a half weeks. I knew from the beginning I'd never hold my baby, but I do think about them every day. April 19th, I lost my second angel, now Casey. I had done everything right, been poked and prodded, but nothing could keep my sweetheart in me. Again, my Noah had a baby brother/sister he'll never meet. If there is a heaven, I know they'll all play together there. But until then, he'll keep calling the ultrasound picture "baby" and I'll tell him about them.

A good friend of mine made this beautiful photo for me:

I think I'll print and frame it.